hello there,
Just thought that I'd give a little update. Not too much happening on the adoption homefront. A lot of people have told me that I've been very patient and I don't think that could be farther from the truth. I'm very impatient most of the time. I think constantly about when a baby will come into our lives, and spend a lot of time missing all three of the ones we aren't having a chance to raise. I know that we never would have had a chance to have all 3 of the babies that we have lost, but I often dream of how different our lives would be with a 2 year old an almost 1 year old and a 5 month old. I am greatful that 2 of 'our' babies are living and we are just a couple of many that love them, but that doesn't stop me from wishing that they were mine all the time. I have had a very hard time lately trying to keep my jealousy from overtaking me at times. So many things feel so unfair and I know that fair has little to do with life. I know that there are so many many people out there who have gone through so much worse who have handled things better, but for those who follow along with us, I don't try to pretend. Last month marked 3 years since we found out we were expecting Gabriel and I can't believe that we still don't have a baby to raise. I can't believe that this crazy journey started 3 years ago. Sometimes it feels like just a month or so ago, but often times it feels like it is a decade in the making. I am hopeful and often wish that our turn will be soon, but I also feel bad about wishing that. I don't want another mother to have to go through the pain of choosing adoption for her baby - I don't wish that on anyone. but then I'm impatient - soooo very impatient. So other than waiting this year we decided to also work towards another goal so that we'd have something else to focus on and work towards. We are going to be running a marathon in January! So far it has been hard, and the last few months I haven't been doing so great, but I thought maybe letting people know will help keep me more accountable - in addition to having had to register a while back! It has been really good overall though, it has helped to have something else to focus on. So far I've lost about 25 pounds, one toe nail and gained a lot of confidence that I've been missing the last few years. Also just wanted to say thanks to all who have loved and supported us so far. Often when we are back at one of our many homes, I don't feel like going places where a lot of people will be - but when I do see people it just reminds me of how many people are rooting for us and our little family. That is about all :)
