These last 7 days were almost VERY different.

I'm not quite sure where to start. From late March until the end of April, when the little boy that we were hoping to adopt was due, it sank in slowly that he wasn't going to be with us, as we had lost contact with his mother. She was under immense pressure from her family to keep him, and we hope that they are all doing well. We had been waiting for about nine months when we were picked to adopt the first time. So, we wondered, how long until the next chance? Life had just about gotten back to normal (well, our newest normal, anyway), though it'd been hard seeing our other bedroom all ready for a baby each day. Last Monday, Memorial Day, we received a voicemail from an adoption social worker saying that a mother wanted to set up an appointment with us. We were very excited, but this happened to come just a few minutes before we were dedicating a few additions to a garden that Erika's parents started at their home in Clear Lake (IA) for our son Gabriel. There was sorrow, but there was also hope. Erika then called to find out more. Turns out that a mother of 6-month old girl had narrowed her choice of adoptive parents down to three couples, and she wanted to meet with us asap. We were also tipped off that she was leaning toward us and that she wanted this to happen quickly. In the previous situation, we were going to have about 9 weeks to prepare. If this new possibility came to fruition, it'd be how many days? 2? 5? We figured, no matter how it ended up, we'd at least know definitively within a week, most likely. We scheduled an appointment on Wednesday morning, and we were on pins and needles, dreaming about having a child within a week, but knowing this could be another near miss. We took time off of work to head down to Milwaukee for the meeting. On the way, we received a call from the social worker saying that the mother wanted to place her daughter with the couple that she chose that evening. (!!!) We'd thought that might've been a possibility, but figured it couldn't go that quickly. Apparently, it can. We also had found out that it was just us and one other couple (meeting with them after lunch) that she was going to meet and pick from. So, 50/50? We met with a wonderful, brave young woman and her gorgeous little girl for over an hour. Without going into much detail, it was incredible. We were thinking... "is this our daughter?" Her mother gave us every indication that she wanted us to adopt her daughter. And, I believe she truly did. Erika and I went to lunch thinking that it was probably more like 75/25 or better that we were taking home this amazing baby girl and spending forever with her versus never seeing her again. What were we going to do? What did we need to buy? (we're pretty ready with necessities at this point) We were pretty ecstatic, thinking that this was probably it, we'd be thrown into parenting immediately, and we were thrilled (and scared) to get started that night. We thought we might even head 45 minutes farther south to surprise some family members with her (they had no idea about this possible addition to the family). We'd been thinking about how she'd match up in age with our friends' children that had all been born in this past year. We strolled around waiting for the call that said either we'd been selected and that it was time to go take care of some formalities and head on home with our daughter - or, that it wasn't going to be our time again. Erika was checking the clock, and just after the meeting with the other couple would have been over, her phone rang. I was worried that this was going to end the incredible joy we'd been feeling, but was relatively confident that it was good news. Unfortunately, it wasn't the news we were hoping for. I almost couldn't believe it. Apparently the meeting with the other couple went even better than ours, and she went with them, though it was relayed to us how hard it was to decide against us. Obviously, this was a harder day for the mother, saying goodbye to her daughter (though they'll have contact, hopefully for life), but it sure broke our hearts. We weren't (and aren't) sure how to try to go back to life as usual again. At this point, I just hope for the best for that other couple that is probably overjoyed and for their new daughter. I'm so thankful to be able to go through this with my wife. We can see how hard the tough times and decisions must be on these young women that are doing it on their own. The two that we have met are very strong, but they deserve to have someone else to share these burdens. On a related note, our hearts go out to our friends and family that have had heartbreak and sorrow of many types when it comes to building families. When I pictured raising kids, I never considered it could be this difficult/sad/emotionally draining. For all of us that have had tough times like these, I still believe that the joy we'll have in the future will be worth all of it and then some.